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All it takes is one lousy Whatsapp message to get you killed

Forwarded as receivedThe golden words that will absolve you of any responsibility for your actions; even if your actions resulted in someone’s death.

Who knew that such a small messaging app can be the reason for someone’s death. Whatsapp killings is now a term, thanks to our utter gullibility.

And it’s not even propaganda, we did this all by yourself. No political party, no BJP, no Congress, no AAP, no one. Just our stupidity, fellow Indian.

We know what we’ve done. It’s in the news, it’s everywhere.

WE DID THIS

 

 

Two men died. Why? Because people ‘mistook’ them for child traffickers. Now, how can someone make a mistake like this? Because it came from the most unbiased, most authentic source in the history of news sources – Whatsapp.

These people got killed because of a text message. A TEXT MESSAGE. This is what it takes now to kill a person. We Indians have stooped to a new low.

Oh hi there nationalist fella! Do you have a problem with me using the term ‘Indian’ because of one incident that happened in Assam?

What are these then:

 

 

 

We did this. All of us.

A few days ago I wrote this article in which I talked about how ‘they’ were feeding us hate. But I don’t think that’s the case anymore. Because we’re already so consumed by hate that even a Whatsapp text can provoke us to kill. We don’t need anyone else to spread hate, we are capable of doing that ourselves. If you don’t want to believe that then you are in denial.

I don’t know how did we start believing everything we read on Whatsapp. Maybe it started during elections when spreading propaganda was in full swing. Since then, we never, for a moment, stopped and thought “Oh, this is the app I use to share low-quality porn and good morning texts, maybe this is not the best source of news.”

But we didn’t. We’re ignorant. How can it be false? After all, it has ‘forwarded as received’ written at the end.

It’s because of this ignorance and carelessness that people are getting killed. It is because of this ignorance that people don’t have a problem beating a guy who was literally begging for his life. It is because of this ignorance that a 65-year-old woman was lynched in broad daylight.

Hate has blinded us. Even animals are better than this.

I am begging you. As an Indian, as a human, stop. Please stop. Stop this hatred, stop this violence. This is not even something propagated. It’s not ‘Hindutva or Islamic’ terrorism. This is pure hatred. There is no one else to blame but us. Stop spreading fake Whatsapp messages. Stop spreading lies.

And please, stop spreading hate. If we continue on this path, there will be nothing left.

Please, my fellow countrymen, save our humanity from dying.

Modi-in-waterfall

12 hilarious posts by ‘you know who’s’ IT Cell that our parents believed

In our country, a particular party’s IT cell has been quite notorious for circulating fake news and pushing propaganda. Some of them are so damn obvious that it’s painful to see them even try telling these lies. However, most of our parent’s are quite open-minded when it comes to accepting these so-called ‘news’ and facts.

One could only wonder how our parents decide what to believe or not. By some twisted logic, Whatsapp is a more credible source than their own son. It’s moments like these that make you feel that you are adopted. But as the joke goes, “Agar adopt karna hota to tujhe kyun lete” makes me sure that I am their own majboori.

So, children of gullible parents, let’s have a look at some things that the IT cell made them believe:

 

1. Note mein chip

Nano chip

 

Demonetisation was a weird time man. On one side you people dying outside ATMs, and on the other, you have people like explaining to you how the ‘nano-chip’ in our pinky 2000 rupee note works.

 

2. Apne baap ka UNESCO

best_currency_unesco

 

UNESCO even declared the 2000 rupee note as the ‘best currency in the world’ (God knows what that meant). Anyway, I am very proud to be an Indian, and you?

 

3. UNESCO returns

Best-PM

 

UNESCO declared so many things in the past 4 years that it felt less like UNESCO and more like Star Parivaar awards. As if the best currency award wasn’t enough, it also declared Modi ji as the best PM in the world. Feeling prod.

 

4. Rare Diamond and Doshi Naagin

doshi_naagin

 

Whoever came up with this was one lazy troll. Not because Modi’s new anagram had one letter missing, because it’s so childish that it makes even 5th graders look edgier.

 

5. Demonetization’s shocking secret (You won’t believe)

shocking_secret_demonetisation

 

Pakistan was ready to print 15 trillion of Indian currency notes with 5 presses. When Modi ji got to know about it, he decided to do notebandi as a ‘F**k you, ab kya kar lega’ to Pakistan. Even Rahul Gandhi knew about it, because all of a sudden he is a credible source to go to.

 

6. Nostradamus died again

Amazing-Facts-1

Amazing-Facts-2Amazing-Facts-4

 

This is a long one, but worth the read. Not only Nostradamus wrote that ‘Ram Rajya is coming’, he also predicted tenure of Modi as PM. But wait, there’s more. These people somehow justified Modi leaving his wife by comparing him to Buddha and Mahaveer. IS IT JUST COINCIDENCE OR HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF.

 

7. Saptrishi Nagamani

saptrishi-nagamani-1

saptrishi-nagamani-2saptrishi-nagamani-

 

Bitcoin was all the fad. So how could IT cell let go of such a fine opportunity? Enter Saptrishi Nagamani, the founder of Bitcoin and chaddi buddy of our PM.

 

8. Robert Downey Jr. fight with the Mullas

robert_downey_jr_

 

Yes, our very own Iron Man is a victim of these Muslim fanatics because he is a kattar Hindu. Oh, did I mention he had a shivling in his heart?

 

9. Slave I Remain

slave_i_remain

 

 

This was made when even the IT Cell people got bored. Muslims weren’t doing much, other political parties were doing their usual “This morning, I woke up at night” thing. So, In order to create a villain, they went to our all-time favorite enemies, the British. To show the ‘goras’ as the villain, they took the first thing they could think of and went full retard.

 

10. ATMs close because Pakistan

atms_because_pakistan

 

Yes, this one is fresh! When our bankers went to strike a few days back, the IT cell decided to do something about it. And by God, they did.

 

11. All great people are Indian because f*ck you

great_indian_philosophers

 

I fear the man who can say that Confucius’s real name was Karnaphool Singh and Aristotle was Haristuti Lal.

 

12. Bhosadike

bhosadike

 

This one is an obvious troll and not by the IT Cell (at least I hope it’s not) but it’s funny as hell.

But my favourite one, the one that is actually close to my heart will always be this kudrat ka karishma-

Modi-in-waterfall

 

And there you have it. Let me know if I missed anyone. Feeling prod as an Indian.

– forwarded as received.

 

Image sources – Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, my own Whatsapp