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Indian Rishtedar Punch

No Rishtedars, I don’t want to get married. If you say it again, I’ll punch you

DAMN YOU RISHTEDARS! Man, I hate when some people keep sticking their nose in other people’s lives. If you’re an Indian, you know what I am talking about. There is this special breed of people in our country called Rishtedars, who will do anything in their power to make your life miserable.

Why do they do it? I have no f**king clue. All I know that whenever there is something that going on in my or my siblings’ lives, they are there, not to help but to judge.

They activate early. Just in time when you start taking important exams. And no sir, they don’t care about those middle school, 6th or 7th standard exams either. They come for the good stuff – your board exams.

Your whole 10th and 12th they say crap like – “Bas ye saal padh lo, phir to aish hi aish”. But the truth is that they don’t give two shits about your ‘aish’, they just want to have something to say while they wait. They wait patiently till your results come, like a hungry leopard waiting for the deer to come close while it hides. Then, on the day of your result, they attack…

Whatsapp messages, phone calls, ‘unexpectedly’ dropping by your home on the day of the result, anything they can do in their power to know about your results. If you score below average or, if God really likes to see suffer and cry, score less than THEIR kids, then it’s game over.

Those sadists will harass your parents till the point they consider disowning you. They will make your lives a living hell. I don’t how it works, but apparently, your parents will be shamed by the ‘samaaj’, because you scored 50 in Maths.

If you think they were bad during your board results, you haven’t seen their true faces yet. That was just the beginning, honey. After your studies, comes their mental orgasm – getting you married.

When you are ‘marriage ready’, i.e. for men if they have joined an MNC, and for women – if they’ve finished college and planning to start working, these rishtedars will come to haunt you. Any family gathering you go to, anything you post on Facebook, any Whatsapp update you make, they will be there.

“Bas ab shaadi kar lo” becomes their life. It feels that they’ve lost all sense of purpose in their lives and getting you married is the only way for them to get that divine fulfillment. What is even sadder is that their own married lives are shit, but they talk about it as if it’s some sort of the ultimate solution to end all problems in a person’s life.

Most of us don’t live in our hometowns, which allow these leeches to come and harass your parents. They’ll show as if they care about your well-being, but the only care about getting you married because it gives them a sense of achievement that at least they did something in life and that they are not a total waste of space.

If you’ve ever wondered why people ‘run away’ or kill themselves out of fear, it’s because of these people. These people are never there to support you. In fact, you doing good in your life is what makes them miserable. They feed on your pain and problems. They are always there to shame you and your parents if you do something that the samaaj doesn’t approve. Because in their minds, there is a perpetual dick-measuring contest going on – whose kid is more successful and has ‘checked’ all the boxes of things that samaaj expects from them.

Seriously, the only reason stopping us is our parents. If the day comes when our mom and dad stop caring about these rishtedars, I will literally punch a few of them with my bare hands till my fists get red with their blood.



Share this, and let them know that you’re fed up with their crap and if they poke you one more time….


Image Source: medium.com