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5 Things NOT To Do In 2019

So, it’s another year that’s going to bring another set of problems. Before you label me as a pessimist, let me remind you how you thought your 2018 was going to go. Yeah, remember it?

Anyway, there’s no shame in admitting that this year is going to suck too, for the most part. After all, what is life but a long journey that suck with moments of joy sprinkled here and there.

And besides, there is fun in making situations suck less. When you realize how bad things could have been had you not intervened and changed them. This is what we do, all the time.

But you have to admit that it’s hard work. And it takes a toll. That’s why I am going to tell you about 5 things not to do in 2019. It’s tough as is, why make it worse?

Let’s begin:

1. Argue unnecessarily on social media

sea_lion_fight

 

Yes, I am going to start with this one. Now that we’re basically connected with some social media platform 24/7, it’s natural that we’ll have most of our conversations there. I am not going to lecture you about how being online all the time is unhealthy because we are way past that. But I am going to say this – Stop wasting time feeding the trolls, it just isn’t worth it.

Because today there are actually people out there who have nothing better to do but to shove their opinions down other people’s throats. They are crass, loud, hateful and most importantly, they have time. Arguing with them isn’t gonna be a ‘win’ for you, even if you make your point.

2. Let your opinion about something destroy your relationships

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Piggybacking the first point, don’t be an idiot yourself. See, it’s good to have strong opinions about something. It’s great to have that opinion backed by facts. But proving yourself right at the cost of losing your relationship with someone close to you. Yes, if their opinion about something makes up their whole personality and if the opinion is borderline illegal or immoral, then it’s a problem.

But for the most part, people are not their single opinion. We are complex creatures. We are more than labels. Who cares if your friend or family doesn’t have the same political affiliation as you? Would you let it get in the way of your relationship with them? Seriously? An opinion about anything negates all the love and friendship you have with them? Are you that desperate to prove yourself right, to ‘win’?

3. Holding onto things hoping that they would get better

shackles

 

Pretty self-explanatory. We have been taught since forever that letting go is some kind of a weakness. Especially when it’s about relationships. Maybe movies are to be blamed. Listen, letting go is not a weakness or being selfish. Sometimes, it’s the right thing to do and you have to accept that.

I don’t care if it’s your crappy relationship, or your soul-sucking job or your toxic friend-circle or your abusive family, if it’s not making you happy and you have tried fixing it but failed every time, then it is simply not worth it. And I’m not saying quitting after one bad day or one argument. You know what I am talking about. You know of the situation where you feel helpless and disrespected but are too afraid to let go because of fear of loneliness, uncertainty or whatever. You know exactly what I am talking about.

4. Ignore your health

health

 

The biggest, the BIGGEST mistake that you could make this year is ignoring your health, again. You know half the crap in your life can be dealt with if you are in the right physical and mental condition. And when I say ‘Ignore your health’, I am talking about mental health too.

I don’t care if you go to the gym, start playing a sport or start learning a martial art, you just have to start moving. We have made our lives too sedentary, we have to start moving our muscles more often.  

When it comes to mental health, take action immediately. If you feeling like depression, talk to someone. Find a therapist. No, it’s not a sign of weakness. That whole notion is utter crap. Don’t let the societal norms stop you from helping you.

 

5. Be a doormat

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The last one and perhaps the most important one too. In my opinion, most people today are trying to please everybody, all the time. The need to please everyone and to get everyone to like you is hurting you and you only. People are going to use you till the end if you let them. I’ve read it somewhere – “You can lie down for people to walk on you and they will still complain that you’re not flat enough”

But that doesn’t mean to be a total jerk to everyone. No, be as good as you can be with everyone you meet. But don’t forget your boundaries. Boundaries that YOU have set for yourself. This is your self-respect we’re talking about here, you don’t f*ck with it.

 

That’s it. There is no earth-shattering knowledge here. In fact, there’s nothing here that you haven’t heard or read before. But I understand how difficult things can be. The last year was especially difficult but I pulled through. Don’t know what this year is going to bring though I am not too hopeful. I hope the list helps you, even a little.

Happy New Year.

 

 

Image Sources: MaxPixel, Pxhere, Pixabay, Wikimedia Commons

Strength

You are Stronger Than You Think

In everyone’s life there comes a time when things just don’t seem that great. That’s me putting it mildly. Actually, that ‘time’ is just too hard to handle. Everyone leaves you, you feel truly alone, with no one to trust or count on and with a mountain of struggle in front of you. I’ve gone through it, some of you must be going through it. But you can take it. Because you are stronger than you think.

Life is not a fairy tale. We don’t always get what we want. There is no karma. Bad things happen to good people. Bad people do bad things and face zero consequences. It’s okay, it’s life. Maybe it’ll get better, maybe not….but, you’ll always come out on the other side, a bit stronger.

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The question that I can hear coming is ‘I don’t want to be stronger, why should I go through all that?’ I’ve got no one right answer for you. That’s life, you have to suck it up and move on. Some are lucky and have it easy, some are not.

An argument can be made that you’re better off than many people. To me that’s bullshit. You can be worse off too. ‘It could be worse’ is not a strong point and I am not advocating it here. I am here to tell you that even if you’re a good person, bad things WILL happen to you. Things will go south and ‘why is this happening to me?’ isn’t going to help you.

You have to take charge. Of your pain, of your life. Things don’t always stay the same. Life isn’t static. It changes. Maybe today you aren’t able to see that. Maybe you just lost someone close to you, maybe you’re struggling to keep food on the table for your family. I know I can’t understand what you’re going through and I don’t pretend that I do. But I can promise you this –  things will change.

I am not saying that you shouldn’t feel sad about it, you should. Everyone should be able to be sad. You can’t stay happy every passing moment of your life.  I just don’t want your current situation to be responsible for you losing to life.

As insensitive as I may sound right now, in time, you’ll be over it. You’ll heal and you should. There was a time when I clung to an unfortunate incident that happened to me. I let it define me. I was the guy with whom X happened and I had absolutely no problem with it, even after 2 years. There was this comfort, for the lack of a better word, in feeling that pain.

Prisoner

 

I’ve realized that after a while, pain becomes easy, comforting even. But what really takes strength is to overcome that pain, that pity, that prison, that you’ve built for yourself.

I feel that I’ve done that. And I am not special in any way. If I could do it, you can do it too. Fight through the pain, fight through the pity. It’s going to be bloody and messy and you would want to quit. But you just have to keep fighting, who knows, maybe you will win.

I didn’t want this article to be something about ‘reasons to be happy’ or that kind of crap. I understand life is hard, painful. But if reading this comforted you or at least made you feel that maybe you’re not so alone, then it’s a win for both of us, my friend.

Take charge of life, take it head on. You will be fine, you are stronger than you think.

You are stronger than you think.

Image Sources: Pixabay, Maxpixel, Wikimedia Commons

The-System-to-keep-us-in-control

The sophisticated system to keep us under control

It starts from the very beginning. When we don’t even understand what it’s all about. Our own parents, unknowingly, of course, start it. Giving us the so-called values that will stick with us throughout our lives. When we join first grade, no..when we first join playschool these so-called values keeps compounding – from teachers who’ve grown up with the same values along with the kids who are getting the same at home. And where does it all lead us? An entire world that follows a well-structured, sophisticated system to keep us all in check.

In-Chains

 

We’re slaves…and it doesn’t matter whether we want to accept it or not. We’re slaves to the corporates, to the government, to the insecurities and the ‘perfect life’ we’re all aiming to have one day. And no, I am not some enlightened soul who can see through it. You feel it too. You sitting there with your phone in hand, scrolling through your social feeds, you feel it too, don’t you? Car, job, home…this definition of ideal life. 6-digit bank account, maintaining your social profiles, clubbing, wrapped in pretty packaging, that everybody just keeps selling to us on every level of our being.

Social-Media-Life

 

Take an average Indian guy’s life as an example. Everybody tells him to go for engineering, then for an MBA, then for a job, then getting married, then kids, then repeat. And no one, during the entire process, NO ONE asks even once to think of ourselves. And being the gullible sheep we are, we just keep following, copying, mimicking…hoping to get some sort of ultimate happiness which we never do.

Mime

 

Corporate life is just the perfect example. You go, you work, you give gaali to your bosses during sutta breaks, you come home tired, watch TV, check Facebook, sleep and repeat this shitshow for 5 more days (sometimes even 6). On weekends, either you’re too tired to actually do anything productive, or you go to some place to click pictures and upload them to social just to look cool. I am not saying that all of them do it, but most people do. You do this on a regular basis for 40 years and Voila, you have a life.

Guinea-Pig-The-System

 

Our society plays its part thoroughly too. There are just too many expectations from everywhere. Your parents first. Not that anyone can blame them for wanting their child to do good in their life, but their ‘definition’ of good is…well, for the most part, is according to them and what their society taught them. Some parents do want to support their kids in going for the kind of life they want, but most, don’t. And who can blame them? They too are a part of this system. Maybe they thought that having a child will make their lives better or save their marriage but it doesn’t work like that.

Parents-Child

 

Then comes your extended family. Your chacha, mama, bua, mausa…basically all your relatives. And to all the rishtedaars out there – STAY OUT OF OUR FUCKING BUSINESS. I don’t know what is their obsession with our lives, but it makes me uncomfortable that there are people who are more concerned about my life than me. I don’t even think that often about my future than they. And I don’t even know why! Maybe they just can’t help measuring my success to their kids or something. “Listen Maami, I don’t care if your son is in ‘abroad’ or how much he earns, leave me be…and stop filling my parents’ head with your crap.” I read somewhere that it’s not that people don’t want you to succeed, it’s just that people don’t want you to succeed more than them (or in this case, their children).

Indian-Relatives

 

So, why do we keep doing this? Because we have to. Because there are people who depend on us. Who want us to have the ‘good’ life. Who want us to be safe, secure and wealthy. And these people…they love us, and we love them and that is why we have to keep doing what we do and we have to keep peddling this awful and vicious cycle till we’re too old to chase our dreams. Till then, writing these stupid articles to let some of that anger out is the only thing we can do.

 

Sad-Smile

/EndRant

Image Sources: publicdomainpictures, pxhere, pixabay, wikimedia commons, memecenter, twitter