What a masterstroke! Indian Oil Corporation was going to announce 60 paisa cut in fuel prices but they changed their minds – like a baby who just wanted to go pee but ends up pooping on your chest- and that’s why we got a MASSIVE 1 paisa cut in fuel prices.

The sacrifice that Indian Oil made shook the nation to its core. We can’t help but wonder what will these guys go through after sacrificing so much. We also wonder what can we do now that we’re gonna save those big bucks after this massive fuel cut.

Here, I’ve compiled for you a list of 10 things you can buy from that 1 paisa cut in fuel prices:

1. 0.000125 liters of petrol

YEAAAH BEETCHES! From that 1 paisa, you can buy so much oil that America will literally try to invade you.

2. The Shroud of Turin

Yes, the one that Saif Ali Khan, John Abraham, Deepika Padukone, Jacqueline Fernandez, Anil Kapoor, Amisha Patel and even Aditya Pancholi for some reason tried to steal in Race 2. Allah Duhai Hai!

3. All 6 infinity stones

If you’d remember, Gamora was trying to sell one infinity stone for 6 billion units. Pffft, those are rookie numbers. Our 1 paisa is enough to buy all of the stones, plus a personal lap dance from Thanos.

4. Antilla

I think he wants to sell it anyway.

5. Nirav Modi’s Estate

The Government has already said that they will keep Mallya in the same jail in which the British kept Gandhi. Might as well add Nirav Modi to the list because I am going after him with my 1 paisa. Oh and also – 

6. Pay fees to the people (sorry, economists) who are defending the fuel hike

Every time the government makes a move, some great economists, who were hiding all this time, come forward to defend the decision with some pretty weird economic theories and facts. The least we could do to return the favor is pay their fees for the immense knowledge that they gave us.

7. Bappi’s gold

This may be a tough buy, but I think we can manage to buy Bappi’s gold. Hell, after this massive cut, he just might give us all his gold willingly.

8. Any writer who can give me more things to add because I am running out of ideas

Ismein bhi likhwaoge?

9. Kohinoor – The Diamond, Condoms, Chawal – everything

With so much money, you can just go to England and tell them to give you Kohinoor, come back and buy some extra thin condoms and chawal. Weird combination I know, but I just have too much money now.

10.  Poultry Farm

‘nuff said.

And there, just like that, I am more reliable than these oil corps.