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5 Things NOT To Do In 2019

So, it’s another year that’s going to bring another set of problems. Before you label me as a pessimist, let me remind you how you thought your 2018 was going to go. Yeah, remember it?

Anyway, there’s no shame in admitting that this year is going to suck too, for the most part. After all, what is life but a long journey that suck with moments of joy sprinkled here and there.

And besides, there is fun in making situations suck less. When you realize how bad things could have been had you not intervened and changed them. This is what we do, all the time.

But you have to admit that it’s hard work. And it takes a toll. That’s why I am going to tell you about 5 things not to do in 2019. It’s tough as is, why make it worse?

Let’s begin:

1. Argue unnecessarily on social media

sea_lion_fight

 

Yes, I am going to start with this one. Now that we’re basically connected with some social media platform 24/7, it’s natural that we’ll have most of our conversations there. I am not going to lecture you about how being online all the time is unhealthy because we are way past that. But I am going to say this – Stop wasting time feeding the trolls, it just isn’t worth it.

Because today there are actually people out there who have nothing better to do but to shove their opinions down other people’s throats. They are crass, loud, hateful and most importantly, they have time. Arguing with them isn’t gonna be a ‘win’ for you, even if you make your point.

2. Let your opinion about something destroy your relationships

alone

 

Piggybacking the first point, don’t be an idiot yourself. See, it’s good to have strong opinions about something. It’s great to have that opinion backed by facts. But proving yourself right at the cost of losing your relationship with someone close to you. Yes, if their opinion about something makes up their whole personality and if the opinion is borderline illegal or immoral, then it’s a problem.

But for the most part, people are not their single opinion. We are complex creatures. We are more than labels. Who cares if your friend or family doesn’t have the same political affiliation as you? Would you let it get in the way of your relationship with them? Seriously? An opinion about anything negates all the love and friendship you have with them? Are you that desperate to prove yourself right, to ‘win’?

3. Holding onto things hoping that they would get better

shackles

 

Pretty self-explanatory. We have been taught since forever that letting go is some kind of a weakness. Especially when it’s about relationships. Maybe movies are to be blamed. Listen, letting go is not a weakness or being selfish. Sometimes, it’s the right thing to do and you have to accept that.

I don’t care if it’s your crappy relationship, or your soul-sucking job or your toxic friend-circle or your abusive family, if it’s not making you happy and you have tried fixing it but failed every time, then it is simply not worth it. And I’m not saying quitting after one bad day or one argument. You know what I am talking about. You know of the situation where you feel helpless and disrespected but are too afraid to let go because of fear of loneliness, uncertainty or whatever. You know exactly what I am talking about.

4. Ignore your health

health

 

The biggest, the BIGGEST mistake that you could make this year is ignoring your health, again. You know half the crap in your life can be dealt with if you are in the right physical and mental condition. And when I say ‘Ignore your health’, I am talking about mental health too.

I don’t care if you go to the gym, start playing a sport or start learning a martial art, you just have to start moving. We have made our lives too sedentary, we have to start moving our muscles more often.  

When it comes to mental health, take action immediately. If you feeling like depression, talk to someone. Find a therapist. No, it’s not a sign of weakness. That whole notion is utter crap. Don’t let the societal norms stop you from helping you.

 

5. Be a doormat

leave_doormat

The last one and perhaps the most important one too. In my opinion, most people today are trying to please everybody, all the time. The need to please everyone and to get everyone to like you is hurting you and you only. People are going to use you till the end if you let them. I’ve read it somewhere – “You can lie down for people to walk on you and they will still complain that you’re not flat enough”

But that doesn’t mean to be a total jerk to everyone. No, be as good as you can be with everyone you meet. But don’t forget your boundaries. Boundaries that YOU have set for yourself. This is your self-respect we’re talking about here, you don’t f*ck with it.

 

That’s it. There is no earth-shattering knowledge here. In fact, there’s nothing here that you haven’t heard or read before. But I understand how difficult things can be. The last year was especially difficult but I pulled through. Don’t know what this year is going to bring though I am not too hopeful. I hope the list helps you, even a little.

Happy New Year.

 

 

Image Sources: MaxPixel, Pxhere, Pixabay, Wikimedia Commons

Strength

You are Stronger Than You Think

In everyone’s life there comes a time when things just don’t seem that great. That’s me putting it mildly. Actually, that ‘time’ is just too hard to handle. Everyone leaves you, you feel truly alone, with no one to trust or count on and with a mountain of struggle in front of you. I’ve gone through it, some of you must be going through it. But you can take it. Because you are stronger than you think.

Life is not a fairy tale. We don’t always get what we want. There is no karma. Bad things happen to good people. Bad people do bad things and face zero consequences. It’s okay, it’s life. Maybe it’ll get better, maybe not….but, you’ll always come out on the other side, a bit stronger.

sad-lady

 

The question that I can hear coming is ‘I don’t want to be stronger, why should I go through all that?’ I’ve got no one right answer for you. That’s life, you have to suck it up and move on. Some are lucky and have it easy, some are not.

An argument can be made that you’re better off than many people. To me that’s bullshit. You can be worse off too. ‘It could be worse’ is not a strong point and I am not advocating it here. I am here to tell you that even if you’re a good person, bad things WILL happen to you. Things will go south and ‘why is this happening to me?’ isn’t going to help you.

You have to take charge. Of your pain, of your life. Things don’t always stay the same. Life isn’t static. It changes. Maybe today you aren’t able to see that. Maybe you just lost someone close to you, maybe you’re struggling to keep food on the table for your family. I know I can’t understand what you’re going through and I don’t pretend that I do. But I can promise you this –  things will change.

I am not saying that you shouldn’t feel sad about it, you should. Everyone should be able to be sad. You can’t stay happy every passing moment of your life.  I just don’t want your current situation to be responsible for you losing to life.

As insensitive as I may sound right now, in time, you’ll be over it. You’ll heal and you should. There was a time when I clung to an unfortunate incident that happened to me. I let it define me. I was the guy with whom X happened and I had absolutely no problem with it, even after 2 years. There was this comfort, for the lack of a better word, in feeling that pain.

Prisoner

 

I’ve realized that after a while, pain becomes easy, comforting even. But what really takes strength is to overcome that pain, that pity, that prison, that you’ve built for yourself.

I feel that I’ve done that. And I am not special in any way. If I could do it, you can do it too. Fight through the pain, fight through the pity. It’s going to be bloody and messy and you would want to quit. But you just have to keep fighting, who knows, maybe you will win.

I didn’t want this article to be something about ‘reasons to be happy’ or that kind of crap. I understand life is hard, painful. But if reading this comforted you or at least made you feel that maybe you’re not so alone, then it’s a win for both of us, my friend.

Take charge of life, take it head on. You will be fine, you are stronger than you think.

You are stronger than you think.

Image Sources: Pixabay, Maxpixel, Wikimedia Commons

Indian Rishtedar Punch

No Rishtedars, I don’t want to get married. If you say it again, I’ll punch you

DAMN YOU RISHTEDARS! Man, I hate when some people keep sticking their nose in other people’s lives. If you’re an Indian, you know what I am talking about. There is this special breed of people in our country called Rishtedars, who will do anything in their power to make your life miserable.

Why do they do it? I have no f**king clue. All I know that whenever there is something that going on in my or my siblings’ lives, they are there, not to help but to judge.

They activate early. Just in time when you start taking important exams. And no sir, they don’t care about those middle school, 6th or 7th standard exams either. They come for the good stuff – your board exams.

Your whole 10th and 12th they say crap like – “Bas ye saal padh lo, phir to aish hi aish”. But the truth is that they don’t give two shits about your ‘aish’, they just want to have something to say while they wait. They wait patiently till your results come, like a hungry leopard waiting for the deer to come close while it hides. Then, on the day of your result, they attack…


Whatsapp messages, phone calls, ‘unexpectedly’ dropping by your home on the day of the result, anything they can do in their power to know about your results. If you score below average or, if God really likes to see suffer and cry, score less than THEIR kids, then it’s game over.

Those sadists will harass your parents till the point they consider disowning you. They will make your lives a living hell. I don’t how it works, but apparently, your parents will be shamed by the ‘samaaj’, because you scored 50 in Maths.


If you think they were bad during your board results, you haven’t seen their true faces yet. That was just the beginning, honey. After your studies, comes their mental orgasm – getting you married.

When you are ‘marriage ready’, i.e. for men if they have joined an MNC, and for women – if they’ve finished college and planning to start working, these rishtedars will come to haunt you. Any family gathering you go to, anything you post on Facebook, any Whatsapp update you make, they will be there.

“Bas ab shaadi kar lo” becomes their life. It feels that they’ve lost all sense of purpose in their lives and getting you married is the only way for them to get that divine fulfillment. What is even sadder is that their own married lives are shit, but they talk about it as if it’s some sort of the ultimate solution to end all problems in a person’s life.


Most of us don’t live in our hometowns, which allow these leeches to come and harass your parents. They’ll show as if they care about your well-being, but the only care about getting you married because it gives them a sense of achievement that at least they did something in life and that they are not a total waste of space.

If you’ve ever wondered why people ‘run away’ or kill themselves out of fear, it’s because of these people. These people are never there to support you. In fact, you doing good in your life is what makes them miserable. They feed on your pain and problems. They are always there to shame you and your parents if you do something that the samaaj doesn’t approve. Because in their minds, there is a perpetual dick-measuring contest going on – whose kid is more successful and has ‘checked’ all the boxes of things that samaaj expects from them.

Seriously, the only reason stopping us is our parents. If the day comes when our mom and dad stop caring about these rishtedars, I will literally punch a few of them with my bare hands till my fists get red with their blood.

via GIPHY

 

Share this, and let them know that you’re fed up with their crap and if they poke you one more time….

 

Image Source: medium.com

Office-Coffee

Corporate Diary: Office Coffee

Office coffee

Day: 845

Dear diary, I have been thinking a lot lately about how shitty our office coffee is. It tastes like someone mixed the toilet water with mud. I can’t believe people are actually drinking this piss. Well, I guess they don’t complain it reminds them that they don’t have a soul left, the corporate life sucked it out of them. That now, they are merely robots who keep filling excel sheets with numbers. They come in the morning, drink the shitty coffee, don’t even see the world outside, keep staring the screen till their eyes start hurting and then they leave. The coffee is especially cruel because it’s the beverage that’s supposed to wake them up but it actually reminds them of how helpless they are, how they are going to come to the same place tomorrow, sit on the same chair and stare at the same screen till the sun goes down and repeat it until who knows how long. It reminds them that they’re slaves in these suits and formal shirts who can’t even complain about it because they’re getting paid barely enough to survive. The coffee makes them realize that now they don’t even have the time to talk to the people with whom they’ve spent whole nights laughing. That coffee is cruel.

 

I fucking hate our office coffee.

The-System-to-keep-us-in-control

The sophisticated system to keep us under control

It starts from the very beginning. When we don’t even understand what it’s all about. Our own parents, unknowingly, of course, start it. Giving us the so-called values that will stick with us throughout our lives. When we join first grade, no..when we first join playschool these so-called values keeps compounding – from teachers who’ve grown up with the same values along with the kids who are getting the same at home. And where does it all lead us? An entire world that follows a well-structured, sophisticated system to keep us all in check.

In-Chains

 

We’re slaves…and it doesn’t matter whether we want to accept it or not. We’re slaves to the corporates, to the government, to the insecurities and the ‘perfect life’ we’re all aiming to have one day. And no, I am not some enlightened soul who can see through it. You feel it too. You sitting there with your phone in hand, scrolling through your social feeds, you feel it too, don’t you? Car, job, home…this definition of ideal life. 6-digit bank account, maintaining your social profiles, clubbing, wrapped in pretty packaging, that everybody just keeps selling to us on every level of our being.

Social-Media-Life

 

Take an average Indian guy’s life as an example. Everybody tells him to go for engineering, then for an MBA, then for a job, then getting married, then kids, then repeat. And no one, during the entire process, NO ONE asks even once to think of ourselves. And being the gullible sheep we are, we just keep following, copying, mimicking…hoping to get some sort of ultimate happiness which we never do.

Mime

 

Corporate life is just the perfect example. You go, you work, you give gaali to your bosses during sutta breaks, you come home tired, watch TV, check Facebook, sleep and repeat this shitshow for 5 more days (sometimes even 6). On weekends, either you’re too tired to actually do anything productive, or you go to some place to click pictures and upload them to social just to look cool. I am not saying that all of them do it, but most people do. You do this on a regular basis for 40 years and Voila, you have a life.

Guinea-Pig-The-System

 

Our society plays its part thoroughly too. There are just too many expectations from everywhere. Your parents first. Not that anyone can blame them for wanting their child to do good in their life, but their ‘definition’ of good is…well, for the most part, is according to them and what their society taught them. Some parents do want to support their kids in going for the kind of life they want, but most, don’t. And who can blame them? They too are a part of this system. Maybe they thought that having a child will make their lives better or save their marriage but it doesn’t work like that.

Parents-Child

 

Then comes your extended family. Your chacha, mama, bua, mausa…basically all your relatives. And to all the rishtedaars out there – STAY OUT OF OUR FUCKING BUSINESS. I don’t know what is their obsession with our lives, but it makes me uncomfortable that there are people who are more concerned about my life than me. I don’t even think that often about my future than they. And I don’t even know why! Maybe they just can’t help measuring my success to their kids or something. “Listen Maami, I don’t care if your son is in ‘abroad’ or how much he earns, leave me be…and stop filling my parents’ head with your crap.” I read somewhere that it’s not that people don’t want you to succeed, it’s just that people don’t want you to succeed more than them (or in this case, their children).

Indian-Relatives

 

So, why do we keep doing this? Because we have to. Because there are people who depend on us. Who want us to have the ‘good’ life. Who want us to be safe, secure and wealthy. And these people…they love us, and we love them and that is why we have to keep doing what we do and we have to keep peddling this awful and vicious cycle till we’re too old to chase our dreams. Till then, writing these stupid articles to let some of that anger out is the only thing we can do.

 

Sad-Smile

/EndRant

Image Sources: publicdomainpictures, pxhere, pixabay, wikimedia commons, memecenter, twitter

tomorrow-sunrise

6 things you should do tomorrow

Life’s moving fast and sometimes the little things get ignored. Things that may seem trivial when compared to your ‘big version’ for life, but still are important.

So, let’s make tomorrow a little different, if not special.

 

1. Skip work. Now, before you say you can’t, stop and think for a second. The company won’t go bankrupt just because you took a day off and you ARE going to work the next day. So stop whining and skip work.

Skipping-Work

 

2. Call some old friends. Don’t ask why. (You’ll know after talking to them)

Friends

 

3. Take the person(s) you love the most out to lunch. Could be anyone from your mom, dad, wife, girlfriend even your dog.

Human-Dog-Life

 

4. If you want to say something to someone say it today. Quit dragging it along. Could be a crush or even someone you hate. Fuck consequences.

Talking

 

5. Hang out with some friends and have some beer. Nothing to explain here.

beer-with-friends

 

6. Spend an hour or half on the roof alone. If you smoke, then smoke a cigarette looking at the sky. If you don’t, great it’s a bad habit. (Do the same thing minus the cigarette)

enjoying-the-silences-of-life

 

Go back to the same life the day after tomorrow.

 

Image Source(s): Pexels, Wikimedia Commons, Pixabay and Max Pixel.

10 truths nobody tells you about being an adult

Ah, adulthood.

The one thing I always dreamed of when I was a kid was to be a ‘grown-up’. It’s funny that now that I am a ‘grown-up’, all I want is to be a kid again. Being an adult is hard…really hard. It’s like that boring ride in an amusement park in which nothing special happens but you still pretend to enjoy it. I am not saying being everyone feels this way but most people that I have met or know feel more or less the same (Hmm, perhaps I need to find better people). So today, I present you a list of things or rather ‘truths’ that no one tells you about being an adult. (Apologies for the depressing stuff)

 

1. It’s difficult

Difficult

 

Yeah, no shit. In other news – Water is wet. But seriously, between debt, bills, your job, maintaining a social life, taking care of your health AND doing the things that you actually like, it all gets too exhausting. And more often than not, the last thing takes the backseat along with being healthy is you. You stop caring about yourself. You don’t even get the time to take care of yourself. You just keep being a part of a group in which everyone pretends they’ve got it all figured out but most of them are just going with the flow.

 

2. Only a lucky few get to enjoy a healthy work-life balance

Work Life Balance

 

If you have a job that you love then congratulations, you’re among the lucky few. Most adults don’t like their jobs. They just do it because it pays the bills. In a country like India, ‘work-life’ balance is a joke. You can have to work 9-10 hours without the extra pay. Add to that the shitty leave policies by MNCs and other private companies, lack of sleep, regular traffic jams, pitiful paychecks and you get a corporate slave.

 

3. Social Media makes you more depressed

Social Media

 

You’ll open your Facebook, scroll through your timeline and see all your peers, all your relatives, all your friends having the time of their lives while you have nothing even remotely good happening. The truth is – most of the time, they also don’t have anything good going on in their lives but getting ‘likes’ and comments’ from people in their friend list act as a validation tool for them. And the funny part is, you know this but still can’t help but get sad by looking at their statuses and ‘life achievements’.

 

4. You really really REALLY need to save

Savings

 

You’re in your 20s man, you should not worry about tomorrow! Yeah, sounds good and all but tomorrow will freaking come and if you don’t take sensible decisions, you will be broke. Saving a part of your salary shouldn’t be optional for you. There will be times when you’ll really need the money – got fired, had an accident, get evicted etc. And you should be prepared for all that. Setting aside a small part of your salary as soon as you get it is really gonna help you in the long run. Open a savings account or a fixed deposit or anything, but make an effort to save…every month.

 

5. You should start investing

Invest

 

Why let your money sit idle when it can grow? I know I sound like a mutual fund advertisement but hear me out. You control your finances and it’s your responsibility to make better decisions. While saving is great (and necessary), sound investing is unlocking a new level. And I am not talking about millions. Try to invest a small fraction of your salary into some sort of instrument that gives returns – Stocks, bonds, mutual funds – anything as long as they’re reasonably safe. Pick the one that’s best for you and make investing a habit.

 

6. Transportation is going to take a LOT of your time

Traffic Jam

 

Nobody talks about it and I don’t know why. People often ignore how much time they spend to and from work. With all the traffic, long queues for metro/local, failing to get a cab among lots of other things, a good chunk of your day goes into transportation. Try to minimise it as much as you can. If you can get an apartment close to work and it costs more or less the same as your cheaper apartment + daily travel, then do yourself a favour and stay there. Even if it costs a little extra, it will be a lot less exhausting.  

 

7. You don’t have ‘best friends’ anymore

Best friend

 

Part of growing up and becoming an adult is you start losing friends. Not to say that people don’t have friends or best friends after a certain age, it sure is a lot less common…and hard. Making friends as a grown-up is difficult. There’s too much thinking, too much judgment, too much ego. I still look kids in awe whenever they meet each other for the first time. Making friends is so easy for them. It’s almost effortless, On the other hand, you have to struggle to maintain contact with your old friends. Those college days are not going to come back. You’ll not meet each other in years. Slowly, they become just names in your contact list.

 

8. It all comes down on you suddenly

Adulthood

 

Adulthood came crashing down on me as soon as I left college. Jobs, bills, groceries, the whole package was suddenly in front of me. It was too much information to process. Because you’re still not done being a student and not completely this person (this grown up, Mr. Responsible that you’re supposed to be) yet. It all gets a little overwhelming.

 

9. Only you’re responsible for your life

Responsibility

 

Remember when you’re a little kid and didn’t want to take orders from anybody? Yeah, you’re gonna miss it too sometimes. It’s a great thing to be independent but sometimes you wish that you have this cushion to catch you if you slip and fall. Adulthood includes a lot of hits and misses and sometimes, those misses hurt. You don’t know that your current partner is the one or not. You don’t know if your friends are real or not. You don’t know if you’d like your job or not… There are just too many uncertainties that you only have to take care of. Right or wrong, the choice is yours to make….and the consequences too.

 

10. It gets a little lonely sometimes

Lonely

 

Sure you have your family, your friends, your girlfriend/boyfriend with you. But sometimes, this feeling of loneliness takes all over your body – something thing that I never felt as a kid. You lose friends, partners, sometimes people closest to you – your family, your parents aren’t there to support you. There are moments when you feel completely lost, broken, defeated. And all you have is yourself no matter how much you need someone.

 

I know being an adult isn’t this bad at least not all the time. But those moments, when you feel all this and still keep on moving….that is what being an adult is really all about. And here comes the greatest truth of all time – Adulthood sucks….but not always.

My Quarrel with the World

When I was a kid, I always dreamed of having sports cars and mansions and models and even private jets, basically a rich spoilt billionaire lifestyle. And now that I’m older, I realized how stupid it was of me to think my life could be ever like that. Now I dream of a mortgage free life, with no credit card bills, a secure source of income, a stable relationship and a peaceful weekend. Yeah, that is the dream now.

While there is nothing wrong with the latter, that was never the life I wanted. My quarrel with the world is how ruthlessly it killed my dream. How heartlessly the world broke it. I know many people will say “This is real life, get over it. You are not the only one with the problems.” I know I’m not the only one with problems, and I know what life is, but all I asked for was to be let down easy.

My-Quarrel-with-the-World

You know how they say to always be strong and never give up, well it is hard work. I felt exhausted with the constant fight, the always ‘stay strong’ bullshit. I deserved a day off, a day to be weak. I was tired of this. The only thing that kept me going was hope.

Having hope is good. Hope is what made me keep moving, but I had to limit my hopes otherwise, it all became so suffocating. Funny how that works. You should have hope but not too much or else you’ll realize how disappointing it all is. The world has a sadistic sense of humor. It enjoys your misery. It feeds on it. It stripped me off of all my morality, my decency, my compassion. I never wanted to become the man I am but I couldn’t be the same man and survive the world. This is when I lost it all, the feelings, the hope, the soul. That is what the world took away from me.

I feel it is easier to not to care. The constant disappointment and hopelessness were killing me. You can stay strong and feel every bit of it or not feel anything at all. I changed into something I’m not proud of but this man can go toe to toe with the world. Sure the world is much stronger and I’ve been knocked down before, repeatedly. But I am tougher than ever, impervious to pain, to suffering. I don’t feel any of it. I think this is what people mean when they say I changed. They look for someone who once had feelings or compassion, not this man. This man doesn’t care. This man doesn’t love. This man wears a smile to show the world that he is still the same person but deep down he knows he left a big part of him behind.

This is the reason I can’t love or can’t have a family of my own. Because a family requires a man who cares, has a heart, who loves. I try to show the people around me that I’m the same man but the truth is I barely recognize myself. So I started to pretend, pretending to feel, pretending to have fun. I even pretend to enjoy with my friends now but I can see it in their eyes that they know I’m not the same person they once knew. But they don’t say anything. Perhaps they know why. Perhaps they changed too.

In my opinion, when people ask you to grow up, this is what the actually mean. Because a child has feelings for everything. That is why it is so easy to hurt a child. Because he trusts without doubt. Granted he gets hurt a lot, but at least he gets to feel what many of us haven’t felt in years.
Sometimes the old me tries to come back. Sometimes I feel happy. But then I realize how fragile it all is and I can’t be that way. That is when I change to this man. The man without hope or feelings, tough. Ready to fight the world.