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What ^ crap I learned from sitcoms

Friends

There were quite a few hit sitcoms on TV when I was growing up. Some of those are now considered to be the best thing on television by many. They were insanely popular. And because I was a little gullible idiot, I admit that there is a huge load of crap I learned from sitcoms. Things, that I had to unlearn after I got to know that there is this thing called logic. And even though it’s wrong of me to bash any TV shows on the basis of what I learned from them, but as an impressionable 14-year-old, there were a lot of stupid things that I picked up from these shows. Teenagers will always be teenagers, regardless of the decade. They’ll be stupid, impressionable little idiots. If you are one, I sincerely hope you aren’t influenced (for the lack of a better word) to my level of stupidity from these sitcoms.

Okay, so get ready, here comes the storm of crap:

 

1. I learned that you don’t have to work/have money to have fun

Joey

 

Most of the sitcoms I watched, showed their main characters chilling in a coffee shop or in a bar, every day of the week without a job or anything. You just sit there, relax with your F.R.I.E.N.D.S. without a care. That too in one of the most expensive cities in the world…what a life.

 

2. You will have the energy to do the craziest shit at any given time of the day

Barney

 

Let’s go to Atlantic City!

Can’t, I have to work tomorrow

But you’re in your 20s…this is the time to live your life to the fullest.

Okay, pick me up in 10

This is how most of the conversations go in a sitcom. There will always be a friend who is overly excited about things and want to do some crazy shit most of the time, while the other person has to work the next day. The crazy friend only has to say like one sentence to make that friend come with him. And what the hell is the deal with “You’re 20, you should crazy things like spending the whole night drinking and go to work the next day without a massive hangover or you’re wasting it”’? We’re 20, not Superman. We need rest too. Stop making us feel bad about not going to clubs or parties 7 days a week.

 

3. You can have a humongous apartment in any city, without so much as a job

himym

 

Taking the first point even further, you don’t have to have a high paying job or ANY job for that matter to have a huge place of your own in New freaking York. Concepts like rent, money, job don’t exist. And that apartment will always be in perfect condition even though you never clean it and throw huge parties like every week. Yeah, screw you! You filthy peasant who has to live in a tiny apartment in a shady neighborhood and has to clean his apartment every week or it starts smelling like a rat died in there after dumping the biggest deuce of his life.

 

4. If you’re a man and not in a serious relationship, you’ll get laid every day of the week

Charlie Harper

 

So you have a penis and you haven’t had sex in a year? Shame on you! Yes, this is what I learned. A single man will have thousands of bimbos to have sex with every day. And don’t even get me started on the ways the single men use to get sex from these girls. Almost all of them are borderline rape.

 

5. Women are DUMB

Penny big bang

 

Continuing the above point, women in sitcoms are dumb. Like reaaally dumb. They can’t tell the difference between a Tyrannosaurus and a chihuahua trying to chase his tail. They are just there to spread their legs for any guy who has given them like 5 minutes of attention. Also, if you’re a blond with moderately big breasts your IQ will be the same as a monkey with Alzheimer’s.

 

6. It’s perfectly fine for friends to screw their friend’s girlfriends

How i met your mother

 

It doesn’t matter if your friend is in a relationship with a girl or used to have very strong feelings for her, or was in a relationship with her like a month ago, you can screw that girl and still be friends with the guy because you really “LOVE” that woman. And by love I mean, you’ll be in a relationship with her for a couple of months then break up because “you two are very different people’.

 

7. If you wear glasses, you’re a nerd and you shouldn’t have any self-respect

The big bang theory

 

Ah, I really felt bad for guys who wear glasses (me). The way they show these guys is heartbreaking. If you’re a nerdy guy who’s dating a hot girl, then the concept of self-respect should be nonexistent to you. Because you’re getting sex and you’re now a slave to the person who’s giving it to you (and not in a good way).

 

8. There’s no concept of boundaries among friends

Lily Aldrin

 

If you are in a group of friends, say 4 to 5 people, chances are you’ve seen all of them naked, you know the size of their penis to the decimals, their breast sizes, how their poop looks, how many times they shave down there, their menstrual cycle, and everything else you can think of.

 

9. You can drink every night, never do anything related to exercise and still have the body of a supermodel

robin how i met your mother

 

Like I said, these guys are superhuman. They can drink like freakin fish every night of the week, never even heard of a gym or cardio, eat anything they want and still have a body of an angel. Yes, they are actors but come on! At least show someone who looks like a ‘regular’ person.

 

10. That your friends will be there for you always

Friends

 

As dysfunctional as they are, friends will always be there for you. It doesn’t matter if they stab you in the back, screw your girlfriend, get you fired or anything…they’ll be there for you. Unless they move to the suburbs or outside the city..then suddenly it gets too inconvenient to keep in contact with people who were your closest friends for more than a decade.

 

Like I said, these shows are simply for entertainment and nothing else but God does it boil my blood when they show these kinds of relationship and lifestyle to stupid people like me and make us think that our lives will turn out this way. Like I know I am stupid, you don’t have to add anything to it.

And this is it kids. That’s all the crap I learned from sitcoms.

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