For those who don’t know what I am talking about, here’s the latest news: 8 men raped a pregnant goat in Haryana. Yes, this is news. Yes, it really happened. For those of you who don’t believe this, here, let me help you: 8.MEN.RAPED.A.PREGNANT.GOAT.
Now, because we’re in the greatest country in the world and because of how we and authorities usually react to news of rapes, I decided to write this article, blaming the victim (the usual, nothing new), so that they don’t have to do it. So, here are 5 reasons there is nothing wrong with 8 men raping a pregnant goat:
1. She was dressed provocatively
Just look at this. Is this our culture? Would any decent go out of the barn wearing such skimpy clothes? Dressed like that, isn’t she inviting rapes herself? She should be ashamed. I am not saying that what the rapists did wasn’t wrong, but taali ek haath se nahi bajti.
2. She was out late at night
Only the morally loose goats stay out late at night (because rapes don’t happen during the day, it’s common knowledge). What was she doing out so late? Doesn’t she know it’s not safe for goats to be out so late? She brought this upon herself.
3. She was drinking and partying with the boys
Yes, which self-respecting goat drinks and parties with boys. Is this what our culture tells us? Partying with boys (male goats?), drinking, smoking….no wonder she got raped. This is what happens to goats who don’t know their limits.
4. She had some chowmein?
Yes, chowmein and other junk food is the leading cause of rapes of goats in our country. Chowmein leads to hormonal imbalance which evokes an urge to indulge in such acts. This statement is 100% true and accurate because it’s made by a khap panchayat leader from the same state.
5. Ladkon se galti ho jati hai
Don’t you know? Goats first befriend boys, but when differences arise between them, they level rape charges. Boys commit mistakes, will you hang them for it? Ladke ladke hain, ab phaasi de doge? How hard is it to understand that some ‘matbheds’ led them to rape a pregnant goat? You are an ignorant moron if you can’t understand that.
Well, I know what to do. Why not bring religion into this? Or politics? Maybe the goat was asking for it? Maybe she was giving signals, you don’t know if she wasn’t. This is all because of the westernization that is ruining our culture. Bloody westerners, with their movies and loose morals, making our innocent boys and goats corrupt.
Oh, just FYI the goat died.
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