In our country, a particular party’s IT cell has been quite notorious for circulating fake news and pushing propaganda. Some of them are so damn obvious that it’s painful to see them even try telling these lies. However, most of our parent’s are quite open-minded when it comes to accepting these so-called ‘news’ and facts.
One could only wonder how our parents decide what to believe or not. By some twisted logic, Whatsapp is a more credible source than their own son. It’s moments like these that make you feel that you are adopted. But as the joke goes, “Agar adopt karna hota to tujhe kyun lete” makes me sure that I am their own majboori.
So, children of gullible parents, let’s have a look at some things that the IT cell made them believe:
1. Note mein chip
Demonetisation was a weird time man. On one side you people dying outside ATMs, and on the other, you have people like explaining to you how the ‘nano-chip’ in our pinky 2000 rupee note works.
2. Apne baap ka UNESCO
UNESCO even declared the 2000 rupee note as the ‘best currency in the world’ (God knows what that meant). Anyway, I am very proud to be an Indian, and you?
3. UNESCO returns
UNESCO declared so many things in the past 4 years that it felt less like UNESCO and more like Star Parivaar awards. As if the best currency award wasn’t enough, it also declared Modi ji as the best PM in the world. Feeling prod.
4. Rare Diamond and Doshi Naagin
Whoever came up with this was one lazy troll. Not because Modi’s new anagram had one letter missing, because it’s so childish that it makes even 5th graders look edgier.
5. Demonetization’s shocking secret (You won’t believe)
Pakistan was ready to print 15 trillion of Indian currency notes with 5 presses. When Modi ji got to know about it, he decided to do notebandi as a ‘F**k you, ab kya kar lega’ to Pakistan. Even Rahul Gandhi knew about it, because all of a sudden he is a credible source to go to.
6. Nostradamus died again
This is a long one, but worth the read. Not only Nostradamus wrote that ‘Ram Rajya is coming’, he also predicted tenure of Modi as PM. But wait, there’s more. These people somehow justified Modi leaving his wife by comparing him to Buddha and Mahaveer. IS IT JUST COINCIDENCE OR HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF.
7. Saptrishi Nagamani
Bitcoin was all the fad. So how could IT cell let go of such a fine opportunity? Enter Saptrishi Nagamani, the founder of Bitcoin and chaddi buddy of our PM.
8. Robert Downey Jr. fight with the Mullas
Yes, our very own Iron Man is a victim of these Muslim fanatics because he is a kattar Hindu. Oh, did I mention he had a shivling in his heart?
9. Slave I Remain
This was made when even the IT Cell people got bored. Muslims weren’t doing much, other political parties were doing their usual “This morning, I woke up at night” thing. So, In order to create a villain, they went to our all-time favorite enemies, the British. To show the ‘goras’ as the villain, they took the first thing they could think of and went full retard.
10. ATMs close because Pakistan
Yes, this one is fresh! When our bankers went to strike a few days back, the IT cell decided to do something about it. And by God, they did.
11. All great people are Indian because f*ck you
I fear the man who can say that Confucius’s real name was Karnaphool Singh and Aristotle was Haristuti Lal.
This one is an obvious troll and not by the IT Cell (at least I hope it’s not) but it’s funny as hell.
But my favourite one, the one that is actually close to my heart will always be this kudrat ka karishma-
And there you have it. Let me know if I missed anyone. Feeling prod as an Indian.
– forwarded as received.
Image sources – Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, my own Whatsapp