There comes a day when the old beardy above gives you lots of free time to kill…and because you’re a blogger and you’re bored and you don’t know what else to do, you write a pointless article about random things that make no sense and doesn’t serve any purpose other than to annoy its readers.
Well if you are as free as me, you’re probably going to read the whole thing, even though I believe that the title itself is enough hint that this is going to waste your time. Even better if you’re reading this at work because as they say, the company makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I shit on company’s time. So let’s continue this metaphorical shitting and start wasting even more of your time.
1.Life is really pointless
Jealous of this dog? Well, you should be because this dog here has figured out the secret of the universe while you’re still trying to get out of debt.
2. No one gives a flying f**k about you
For those who can’t figure out what the word with asterisks is, it’s fuck. People don’t care about you like I don’t care about you and you don’t care about me. We’re just really coexisting.
3. There will always be 0.01% of germs surviving
4. Charmander IS the best starter
Just look at this thing. IT’S A FREAKIN LIZARD WITH A FIERY TAIL THAT EVOLVES INTO A FIRE BREATHING DRAGON. Beat that with your gay turtle and whatever the abomination Bulbasaur is.
5. Benedict Cumberbatch looks like an otter had sex with this
Look into his eyes and tell me I am lying. This could very well be a ‘behind the scene’ from Season 5. If ‘strange’ was something Marvel was aiming for then they had hit the bull’s eye. Otter Strange!
7. You’re a product of late-stage capitalism
Whatever you own, have, bought or wear is the result of capitalism. You know as the old saying goes, “Everything you ever wanted is because somewhere, someone in the world wanted you to want it.”
7. You still had a little hope for the 7th one
Sorry man. Like I told you, it sucks.
8. Most people are stupid and you can’t change that
Not to sound like douche although I think we’re past that… but the truth is you’ll meet lots of stupid people in the world and you’ll start losing faith in humanity. But don’t lose hope, it never gets easier.
(Mandatory Cat Pic)
If you’re still reading this then I feel sorry for you. Don’t you have anything else to do? I mean come on man, there must be SOMETHING you could do other than read this crap. Not even porn? Smh.
10. You need to let things go sometimes
Stop comparing yourself, stop being jealous, stop worrying about everything, stop thinking what could go wrong, stop…Just stop for a moment. Let go of things for a little bit and rest, because nothing else will let you.
So that’s it, thanks for wasting your time with me. You’re truly unemployed.